September 3, 2009

Just a bit of friendly advice. . .

Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop is the inspiration behind this post.  I have chosen number five – Share your friendly advice to someone you think needs it.  Hmmm, as I have much advice to offer this could turn into a very lengthy post . . . 

Just a little bit of fashion advice for a few of my co-workers (you know who you are!).

1.  Do not, under any circumstances, EVER wear nylons with open-toed shoes.  It is unbelievably tacky.  And though I love you dearly, it makes me cringe.

2.  Please don’t wear your pants so tight.  I really don’t want to see everything you’ve got; and neither does any one else.

3.  White shoes.  Really?  Very few outfits require solid white shoes.  The ones you wear with them are just wrong.

4.  Please, I am begging you, wear skirts that are just a bit longer.  You are far too mature to be trying to pull off that look.

5.  And you – I wonder if there is any hope at all.  Why are you wearing black tights, corduroy skirts, and a sweater in the dead heat of the summer?  That, and the fact you won’t look anyone in the eye, has me very suspicious of you.  And please, comb your hair.  This is a professional office.

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Moving on.  This bit of advice is for our “bigwigs.”  Please act a little more human.  Just because you make more money than you will ever know what to do with does not give you the right to walk around here like you’ve got a stick up your . . . well, anyway.  You are not a god – you are human – just like us peons.  Treat us as such, please.  Oh, and that grimace you think passes for a smile. . . if you can’t offer a sincere smile then please don’t subject us that rictus.

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To my son’s school.  I love you, I really do.  That’s why I pay an exorbitant amount of money to you each month for him to attend.  So why then must I BUY his books each year?  Really?  This is high school – NOT college.  What exactly are you doing with all that tuition money that you can’t provide the books?  And then, this really chaps my hide, how come you don’t use said books that you have forced us to buy?  Instead you use worksheets?  You also extort money from us constantly.  Why? 

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To my two dear friends.  I love you but really – this not speaking to each other over a silly misunderstanding is very juvenile.  Kiss and make up already.

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And you, Mr. Middle-Management kinda guy; for all that is holy – please quit micro-managing!!  We know how to do our jobs so you do yours and let us do ours.  Also, please ask your wife to refrain from calling 50 times a day.  Thank you.

Okay, I warned you this would be a lengthy post.  And I could go on and on.  But because no really wants to hear everything I have to say I’ll stop here.

4 comments:

  1. NO!! If they did I wouldn't be able to say even half of what I thought.

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  2. Yes Yes Yes and Yes. Agree! Well written and Agree! (I love when I can just agree! So agreeable!)

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  3. LOL. I enjoyed this post and the one after it so much I am following to see what you write next.

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