September 9, 2009

The Grass Only Thinks It’s Winning

When talking to a friend of mine this morning; she mentioned how therapeutic it is to weed her beds.  Therapeutic, huh.  Interesting.

Currently, I’m into gardening.  Let me clarify.  I’m not into gardening, per se.  I’m in the middle of landscaping my yard.  By myself.  Which is fine – I don’t mind the planning, the digging, etc.  Never been big on the maintenance end though.  But then, in my previous home maintenance was basically in the form of watering and pulling a few weeds here and there.

But at this house, for some reason, we don’t have too many weeds in the beds.  They are all over the freakin’ yard though.  More weeds than grass, actually.  This is not my problem as I don’t do grass – hubby does.  And I’ve pointed the weeds out – so hopefully he’ll jump right on that (yeah, right!  When pigs fly).  Ahem, I digress (yes, I know I do that often – no need to point it out).

So, I figured I could use some therapy.  Upon returning home from work, I put on my yard clothes and head down for some therapy. 

I discovered that I don’t have a weed problem in my beds.  I have a freakin’ grass problem!!

Explain to me how grass that refuses to grow in the yard is now growing in my beds.  Even though I put down the black shit landscaping material before I even started the project!!!!

Yes, you read that correctly.  The grass is actually poking giant, gaping holes through the landscaping material and coming up and trying to encroach upon my beds that I spent HOURS slaving over.

My conclusion – I have passive aggressive grass.  This is the exact same grass that should be growing in my yard but isn’t.  Instead it has decided to grow in my beds. 

So instead of spending a therapeutic hour weeding – I spent a frustrating hour pulling grass up by the roots and flinging it into the yard – in hopes that it will get the message that is where it is supposed to grow.  We’ll see. 

As I was de-grassing the beds, I informed the grass that (what? You don’t talk to your grass?  What’s wrong with you?) despite the fact that it had done whatever it pleased before we built this house, I was in charge now and it better recognize this fact.

So you can bet that between me and Google (and a friend with a landscaper husband) I will beat this grass one way or another.  ‘Cause you know what?  Grass ain’t got Google.

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