I'm Packed Up

I'm packed up and ready to go.  I've booked the flights; have a car reserved.  ::sigh::

I'm trying to figure out why this is so hard on me.  I wasn't this emotional over my mother.  The only thing I can figure is that I had decided that my mother was going to die any time years before because of her lifestyle.  So when it actually happened I wasn't surprised.

This though has come out of left field.  I knew that he had health issues.  I knew he didn't take very good care of himself.  I also knew that he lied to me whenever I asked him about these things.  Didn't want me to worry I suppose.  But I didn't know that it was this bad.

It truly bothers me that he's been in the hospital for two weeks and I was only informed last night.  They couldn't find my number.  How's that for dysfunction?  His only daughter and they couldn't find the number?  Even so, I'm listed.  They couldn't call information?

My friends have rallied.  Both online and in real time.  One has even offered to fly out with me for support.  I told her no, but it touched my heart nonetheless.  Another friend is offering me sanctuary during my stay.  My step-daughter arranged the car for me and sent her love.  I am truly blessed to have so many loving people in my life.

I'm very tired.  And have so much flying around in my brain.  And my heart hurts. 

Keep us in your thoughts; if I get access to a computer, I'll try to update you.