Maybe we've just had too much time in each other's company. Maybe we are totally sick of spending every, single hour of the day together. Maybe it's time to go back to work/school.
Last night Man-Child said something extremely ugly to me. (I wrote about it - but deleted it. I wrote in the heat of the moment....those of you on Twitter - kinda know about it as I vented long and loud) I know he didn't mean for me to hear it. But I did.
And I reacted; immediately. Let him know in no uncertain terms how unacceptable it was and that I would not tolerate being spoken to in such a manner; EVER! By anyone!
Then, immediately went somewhere private (so I thought) and proceeded to cry my eyeballs out.
Why did I cry??
I assume it was a medley of things. But the main thing was that it just astounded me that he could say something so nasty. About ME! His mother!! The one who gave birth to him. The one who loved him even when he wouldn't sleep as a baby! The one who would gladly lay down her life for him! How dare he?!
Yes, I realize he's a teen. I remember exactly what it was like to be a teen (despite what he thinks; I really do!). 'Cause seriously? As teens - how many of us said ugly things to/about our parents as teens - in a whisper? But honestly? He's lucky he walked away with all his teeth intact - it's a miracle that I didn't completely go crazy on him.
I really didn't want him to see me cry. Truly.
But he did. He found me sobbing uncontrollably.
And, if the truth be told, I think that - more than anything else (including the conversation he had with his father!!) made him realize just how much power he has to wound me with just words.
Hubby informed me today of the conversation they'd had - and informed me that it would never happen again.
But I know, deep in my heart - after seeing his face when he found me crying - that it will never happen again - even without the "chat."
Luckily, my boy is one with a conscience. He has empathy (always has - even as a little guy). And to find me sobbing (so soon after going off on him) crushed him.
For that I'm sorry. Of course, I don't want him crushed.
BUT - if it makes him realize that words can truly wound - so be it.
Life - it's a continual lesson isn't it? For him - that words can hurt someone - deeply and that he needs to respect others; particularly his mother. For me - maybe I shouldn't take his disdain so personally - 'cause he is just a teen and he's supposed to rebel? But really - that will be a hard lesson for me. Because how can I not take it personally??
Yup, it's time. We need to go back to our routines. But.....are you sure I can't call in sick tomorrow......