June 1, 2010

Ten Tips for Dyeing Your Hair....Yourself.

Inspiration always seems to occur at the most random times doesn't it?  Can you guess what I did tonight?

Step One:
Plan to spend at least an hour at the drugstore trying to select your "shade."  This is because, somehow, you will completely forget what color your hair really is and will spend the majority of your time trying to figure it out so that you can determine what color to buy (should you go with the light brown?  The light ash brown? The light golden brown?  Oh wait!  You aren't a light brown at all!  Move on to the medium browns.....but wait!  Are you really a medium brown???).  Unless you are going in a whole new color-direction -- then you will be in and out of the drugstore in no time; until you follow through to Step Ten, then you will be back - with a whole 'nother set of problems....

Step Two:
Put down the glass of wine.  I'm serious!  It's never a good idea to color and drink at the same time....I know from experience.  Trust me.

Step Three:

Turn the directions over so that you are reading them in your native tongue (for some strange reason, when you unfold the directions, at least here, they aren't in English. Which can cause some confusion if you've ignored Step Two.).


Step Four:
Ignore the warning labels that tell you of all the dire consequences that could happen if you don't follow them - 'cause really?  Please!  How bad could it be?

Step Five:
Do follow the instructions to wear the gloves....trust me.

Step Six:
Proceed to follow the directions in your native tongue.  But be careful!  Especially if you've ignored Step Two.  Because guess what?  Hair color will not only color your hair.  It will also (sometimes permanently) color your tiles, your cabinets and pretty much anything else it comes in contact with - you've been warned.

Step Seven:
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, engage in Twitter dialogue while waiting the 25 minutes it takes for the stuff to marinate on your head.  Why?  Because although it will take your mind of all the itch-iness going on on your scalp, all of a sudden, you will look at the clock and say, "Oh Crap!"

Step Eight:
Race up the stairs to wash the goo out of your hair....taking care not to fall down said stairs and break your neck and/or trip and have the head full of goo slam into the wall - thus dying the wall whatever lovely shade it is that you have selected.

Step Nine:
Do not use the "good" towels to dry your hair after rinsing.  Just don't.  Again, trust me.

Step Ten:
Look into the mirror and tell yourself "You know....although it's a mite bit darker than I'd envisioned....at least maybe this time it won't be so brassy....."

Then proceed to scratch your head furiously wondering if maybe you shouldn't have ignored all those warnings that I told you to ignore in Step Four......

14 comments:

  1. I have been dyeing my hair for over 20 years now. I started out with Nice & Easy 104, and gotten a little lighter through the years. Now I'm at N&E 102. Simple & easy. I'm surprised my hair hasn't fallen out yet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've had a very similar experience, I've added it as one of my auntiegwens guides to life :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. And that is why I go to the hairdressers....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Long ago I used to dye my hair myself, but it never looked like the package. Ever! And so I stopped, and now, who cares what color my hair is? Certainly not the guy I live with, or me. But I know whereof you speak!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Great tips.

    I pay someone to do my hair. If I did it myself I'd turn it pink or orange.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When I am broke I dye my hair by myself. Always regret it. Always turns brassy eventually. LOl - funny directions and all true.

    Side bar: I don't know why you can't comment on my comments. Steven over at Life in a Fish Bowl comments back all the time. Maybe he could offer some words of wisdom as far as settings go. Checked mine, they all look fine. Have a good day.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I always ignore the dire instructions.
    I have gotten dye on the wall.
    I always get on the computer BUT I bring the kitchen timer with me.
    I never wear the gloves lol
    other then that... I follow your directions to the tee.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have just lightened mine tonight it was a nightmare to lift .. warning todays semi permanents are not semi permanent !!
    It feels awful when wet but looks nice dry .. now what to do when the roots come through ???
    Gigi I have tagged you over at my place xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. been there, done that. I always use medium warm brown now- then go get professional highlights.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Use to do it at home.......just can't anymore!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've always dyed mine at home. I can put hi-lights or low-lights in too (not on mine tho, on others). Now I'm bragging! Comes from sharing a flat for 2 years with a hairdresser/beauty therapist. I was her model. My hair has been dyed every colour under the sun.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I wnet from brunette to blonde at the age of 13 whilst my mum was out, never again! That was a long time ago, where has my life gone?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Been there, done too many times, now lesson learnt, I pay a small fortune and let the salon do it for me.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Loved this.. it made me just snort out loud in Starbucks... and now everyone's looking at the weird women in the corner! Never tried it myself as i have blonde streaks but if I was a brunette I reckon I'd give it a go. Without the wine and Twitter of course! x

    ReplyDelete