August 26, 2009

I think Hubby might be trying to kill me . . .and other random things

It’s passive-aggressive sure.  But I know it’s his plot.  To kill me by omission.  This is at least the second time in a month or so that he has ignored my screams.  For all he knows a serial killer could be after me.  Sure, the first time it was only a frog that wandered into my garden where I was working.  Wait – what do I mean only a frog.  These frickin’ critters are absolutely terrifying to me.  Don’t ask me why – but they are.  Hubby was out back, I was out front.  Believe me, as deaf as he pretends to be, there was NO way he couldn’t have heard that scream!  Man-Child heard from inside the house and came to my rescue.  This is why I love him with every fiber of my being – even though he drives me crazy. 

Anyway . . .

Tonight I was sitting on the back porch working on the computer (more about that in a bit).  When something touched my inner thigh – yes, inner thigh!  I screamed.  Because what in the hell could be touching my inner thigh while alone on a screened-in back porch?  Hubby, whom I can view through the back door – continued to watch T.V.!!!  What the hell!!!  Turns out, it was only my napkin (quit snickering).  It easily could have been some kind of sadistic serial rapist-killer!  And yet, there he sat.  Calmly ignoring me.

I’ve got to keep my eye on this man.  God only knows what he’s slipping into my wine.

To get my mind off his nefarious plans – let me tell you about my computer.  I’m so excited.  (yes, I’m a total dork)  This laptop has been running EXTREMELY slow lately.  And as the technological genius (not) in this household it has been left up to me (as have many other projects) to figure it out.  Why take it in to a skilled technician since I’m sure (famous last words) I can totally tackle this task.

Well, after copious amounts of Google and talking to IT at work (I mean – that’s what they are there for, right?).  I have been able to fix my computer for free, easily.  And now this baby is lightning fast!  I’m soooo excited.  As I’ve told you before, it’s the little things in life.

My second great announcement is . . . I’ve FINALLY figured out how to tame the frizz that sits on top of my head.  I think the presses should stop to take note of this one. 

I have very wavy hair.  So wavy it’s easier to go curly than straight.  But really, who wants to be curly all the time?  I have in my arsenal a multitude of product.  Seriously, I have spent mega-bucks on product.  I know have enough to get me through for at least the next three years.  But for some reason none seemed to work.  Very frustrating.  But, for whatever reason, I switched my flat iron and now, viola!!!  No more frizz.  I’m very happy.  Just had to share.

Well, hubby is out of eye-sight now.  I suppose I’d better go find him in order to keep an eye on him. . . if all of a sudden I disappear from the blogosphere make sure you call the cops.


  1. I think husbands know the difference in our panic screams and the 'there she goes again' screams sorta like us knowing if a baby is crying for attention or actually needs us - sorta funny. My hubby will ask me from another room if I'm alright. Too funny!

  2. How funny we were commenting on each others blogs at the same time. Weird?
    I jump at the strangest things too...often in embarrassing places then have to pretend I was doing something else. Maybe husband needs his hearing checked? :0)

  3. Momsweb - at least your hubby asks if you are ok. Mine just ignores me - unless he hears a big crash!

    Chic Mama - great minds, my dear. Apparently, we are on the same wavelength. NO point in having his hearing checked - it's selective deafness.

  4. Isn't it funny how if ANYTHING happens to a car, the men automatically get grumpy and frustrated! Must be a man thing! Atleast it didn't happen on the freeway! :) I promise, I wont tell anyone :)

    Stopping by from MamaKats :) xo!