It’s a tradition y’all!

Only 81 more days until Christmas (ducking and hiding!).  Please don’t hate me for bringing it up so early, or at least at what some may consider to be early.

Every year about this time I start to plan.  I need to get Man-Child’s picture done so that it can go in the cards.  I need to get a family picture that will be the card.  You have to plan these things in advance, you know.

Then I have to make THE list.  You know the one where you list all of the people you buy for.  Then I get intimidated – because even though I’ve whittled it and whittled it – it still seems very long.  And I don’t know what the hell to get any of these people – even though they are family and very good friends.

So, then I go into total panic mode and begin to hyperventilate – because there is only 81 more days until Christmas and I haven’t even started on one thing!  Not. One. Thing!!!

And then, oh shoot, I realize I haven’t even thought about our (mostly) annual Christmas party – which is generally thrown about a week or two before Christmas and is, apparently, a much-looked forward to event by all our friends who were discussing last year’s party this past weekend – so damn it, I can’t very well nix it this year, can I?  Maybe I could break an appendage.  That would be a good reason to shut it down.  But, Christmas shopping with said broken appendage?  Hmmmm, maybe not such a good idea after all.

So about this time – I am completely and totally stressed out and wondering if I have enough vacation time left to take off and get some of this crap stuff done.

And the freakin’ cookies!!  I was supposed to start freezing batter back in the summer so all I’d have to do is bake the damn things – but of course, back in July I was too busy having summer-time fun.

Then, of course, there are the “what-if” gifts; you know because even though the So-and-So’s didn’t get us a gift last year what if they give us a gift this year like they did two years previously?  And if they give us the gift at the party – do I have to give them a gift or could their gift be considered a hostess gift?  And if I give them a gift in return then what about the other guests that didn’t get a gift?  OMG!!!

Oh crap – my co-workers!  What to do about them?  We generally exchange something small between a small group of us.

At this point, I begin to have heart palpitations and I have broken out into a sweat because dear mother of God there is NO way I can get all this done in the next 81 days!  I need a bottle of chardonnay – STAT!

So this, dear friends, is how I’ve spent my day today.  What?  Working?  No, no, no.  I’ve had far to much to think about to worry about that. 

What can I say?  It’s a tradition y’all.  And you don’t mess with tradition.